I’m about to have a meeting with the owners of the company! I’m freaking out! 😳😳
I’m done with relationships! I’ve always been bad at them. Idk how to deal with other people’s problems, let alone all of my own problems. I have bipolar depression, so that doesn’t help. I scare a lot of guys away because of it. I’ll admit I have anger problems too. So I’ll yell at them over nothing & then say sorry before they even get a handle to react. My brain works differently than most people’s. & ive come to realize that I’m just not fit for a relationship. They’re supposed to be five & take & all about compromise & live. But I’m very one-sided & I don’t like talking about my feelings. If a guy says he loves me, I’ll say it back just to make him happy! (But in reality, if I actually loved you…id be embarrassed to say it) That’s how I know I’m truly feeling an emotion; when I’m too embarrassed to say it. (Idk if anyone’s gonna read this, & if they do. If what I’m saying makes sense to them…but whatever. I’m doing this cause I need to just say it!) I want a boyfriend, cause I hate being alone & doing thing by myself. But that’s so selfish of me haha I’m a good girlfriend tho, when I want to be. I’ll go out of my way & make you like a random goodie basket with clothes, candy & other random shit lol idk why I do that. But then I’ll go yell at you for not eating the candy right away. I wish I could understand my brain & why I do what I do. Haha & it makes me so cautious of who I’m getting close to. Cause I’ve been dating guys & ruined it cause I got too comfy & yelled at him for not standing up fast enough! Idk man, I just don’t know how to deal with my emotions & my anger. Like wtf! Why do I get so damn mad at everyone?! I just wanna like apologize to all my exs but then I don’t cause they never tried working things out with me. But then again I didn’t always wanna work stuff out hahah whatever. Anyways, what I’m trying to say is, I’m not fit for relationships & I don’t plan on dating anyone any time soon. (But I’ll be honest, it would be nice to have someone to talk to) HAHAHAHA
